All the things we leave behind . . .

Dear Friends in Christ -

Today's the day . . . Have you ever noticed that as you prepare to make your New Year's resolution - to exercise more, to lose 10 pounds, to spend more time with the kids and/or the dog, to get sober, etc. - that in taking on something new, what you're actually doing is leaving something behind? One reason New Year's resolutions are so hard to keep is that in our rush to get on with the new thing, we don't allow ourselves to name and to grieve the thing we're leaving behind.

If your goal is to exercise more, you're going to be leaving behind time that you used to spend doing something else. What is that thing you're going to give up so that you can exercise? Will you miss it?

If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you're going to have to quit eating some things that you used to eat - and probably enjoyed. You're also going to have to give up the sense of comfort eating those things gave you. How do you feel about that?

If you're going to spend more time with the kids and/or the dog, what are you giving up at work? Or of your own hobby or time with friends? Have you let other people know about the change you're making so they don't feel gyped or ditched? Or are you going to take the low (and likely unsuccessful) road of trying to get the change past people without they're noticing?

If your goal is to get sober, are you prepared to leave behind hiding? What will it be like to leave behind your safe, comfortable (though deadly) place and face the pain and/or disappointment you've been dodging by numbing yourself?

I invite you to join me on the last day of this year. Let's tell the truth - at least to ourselves, perhaps to someone else - about what's been dogging us, about the things we want to change. Let's name the things(s) we have to leave behind, so that tomorrow, when we try to start something new, there will be an open space for it to fit in.

Faithfully,
Janet+