Do our lives look different?

Dear Friends in Christ -

Years ago, a long-time preacher said to me, "Whether you're aware of it or not, as a preacher, you're always preaching first to yourself."

This past Sunday, I heard myself say something in the sermon that I preached, something that's been ringing in my ears ever since. It wasn't something I planned to say, it just came out as spoke.

"As Christians, do our lives look different than the lives of people around us?"

The reason that that question has been ringing in my ears is that I've worked so hard to have my life look the same as the lives of those I admired, to look good. When I was young and poor and struggling to figure out how to make a go of life, I aspired to have what others had: a nice place to live, a family, an education, a good job. Now, I feel totally blessed to have all these things, but I have to admit that I've cut some corners, that things in my life aren't always as good as they look - on the outside and, especially, on the inside. I'm not always true to my values. I hedge at doing some things that God asks me to do because I'm afraid that I'll be less comfortable or that people won't like me or that people will think I'm weird.

Honestly, I'm terrified of becoming one of those people whose life is a travelling bill-board for the causes they believe in. Yes, yes, I know - that white collar thingy is sort of a dead giveaway that I'm a church-type! But, sadly, I've discovered that many people don't actually think the collar means that much. Many people are so disillusioned with church that simply belonging to one doesn't raise people's expectations that there's something special, something God-power-sparkly, happening in my life.

The little devil on my left shoulder says, 'It's good to keep a low profile. You don't want peoples expectations of you to be raised; you'll just make God look bad when you make mistakes or get impatient and out of sorts.' The little angel on my right shoulder says, 'You sell yourself short thinking like that! Just DO IT - tell the truth, help where you can, push for fairness. Even if you don't get very far, you'll have made a bit of difference. It all adds up!'

Little choices. Little changes. Living a little bit closer to my values . . . Watch out! In a week or two or three, you might notice that something looks a little bit different . . .

Faithfully,
Janet+