Remembering the password

Dear Friends in Christ -

Almost a month ago (September 3rd!), I put up a blog post about getting back to blogging, after a lull in posting over the summer. And I haven't posted a word since. It's been so long since I posted that when I went to put up a post today, I couldn't remember my password! Yikes!

In all honesty, it happened to me once before that it had been so long since I posted that I couldn't remember my password. In that case, I just got distracted . . . took my eye off the writing/connecting ball. This time, it was just a really difficult month for me.

Personally, my kids started back to school, with all the school-shopping, lunch-box-filling chaos that involves. Also, my husband and I took the plunge and did away with all remaining daily child-care for our kids, which means that we've made adjustments in our daily work schedules to allow one of us to be with the kids after school every day. We love spending more time with our kids, but work has been taking over every spare second that we're not with them - (early) morning, noon and night! In addition, I suffered a personal loss: a dear friend of mine died. She was the first person who reached out to me when my husband and I moved to Connecticut 13 years ago; she was a really amazing, bright-light sort of person, and I miss her.

Professionally, there were a number difficulties, too. I had to relieve my part-time assistant minister of his post because he just wasn't able to fill his role here. I had such great hopes that he would be able to help me shoulder the leadership burdens here, so it's a great loss to me and to the parish that it didn't work out. It's been a month of many pastoral crises, too: for the entire 30 days of September, there was a least one parishioner in a hospital somewhere in Derby, Bridgeport or New Haven. Most signficantly, a beloved parishioner, Kathy, passed away after a four-year struggle with metastasized breast cancer. She's safe at home in heaven now, but the world is a less good place without her.

There's a difference between password-forgetting due to distraction and password-forgetting due to overload. In "normal" times, praying and blogging are both "requirements" for me - for my sanity and, increasingly, for our parish connections. For the past month, it was either one or the other - either oxygen or food - and I chose to breathe!

But now, back to writing. There's something really good for me in the work of writing. I find joy in the art of wrestling to speak truth, speak hope, speak life! I was lamenting the struggles of the past month in conversation with a friend this week. He shared his philosophy of leadership, of life: "It's OK to lose your balance for a time, but make sure that 'time' doesn't last too long, or you might lose your self - and THAT'S a problem."

Today, I remembered my password, and thus I begin re - membering myself!

Faithfully yours,
Janet+